Making Headway

Last year, I posted a cheerful holiday poem about a lost tortoise reunited with his owner after a traumatic shell fracture. I wanted to do another fancy fable this year, but writing poems is hard work! Therefore, this year, I opted to skip the sonnet and simply tell a tale of yet another happy ending!

As a busy veterinary practice, we see a fair amount of interesting cases. There are plenty of routine things, of course - ear infections, allergies, gastrointestinal upset, etc. The dog-ate-underwear or horse-stepped-on-cat's-tail cases certainly do not come in everyday, but every so often, a case comes in that takes the cake on the weirdness scale. I remember this one day...

It was a warm Friday in late March. We had just finished up morning office hours. Dr. Smith was out on farm calls. Dr. Candee had some business to take care of during lunch, so off he went. And I was alone (except for my trusty staff, of course). A call came in from the Animal Control Officer in town. Some folks from the Dept. of Public Works were bringing down a cat with its head stuck in a storm drain. What?!

A few minutes later, a town pickup pulled into the driveway with two men sitting in the bed. Between them was a storm drain resting on a five-gallon bucket. And yes, there was a cat stuck in it - head on one side and body on the other. One of the DPW workers was carefully supporting the cat's body with one hand. I do not know about you, but when I picture a "storm drain", I did not picture a huge, square, 150lb, 1" thick, solid metal monstrosity. That thing was heavy, as evidenced by the two burly men required to move it. This particular drain cover was a grid of ~2x2 inch squares (just like in the picture to the right). These square openings were just wide enough apparently for this cat to squeeze its head through on the diagonal, but not wide enough for the cat to get its head out again.

With my technician Alyssa in tow, I jumped onto the truck bed and started to triage the little cat. It was a young black longhaired male cat, cold and clearly stressed. He had been struggling to free himself, so his neck and face were swollen and abraded. You know how cat's whiskers are supposed to tell a cat if they can fit through a space? Well, this cat's whiskers had definitely malfunctioned. The widest parts of a cat's head are the cheekbones. And based on the size of the openings, there was no way this cat had gotten his head through the drain without squeezing it through with some force. To me, that meant either the cat was just too foolish to know he wouldn't fit (always a possibility) or he was so panicked to get out of the drain pipe, he didn't care (a heartbreaking situation). Later, we did come up with a third theory for the situation - perhaps he somehow fell through the hole and his big head was the only thing that wouldn't fit! That last one didn't sound too probable to me. Regardless, we needed to get him out, pronto.

Drugs are great things and we sedated the little cat right off to make him easier to extract. Cutting through the metal drain was not feasible. It was too thick. So, how do you remove a cat from a metal drain? With lots and lots and lots of lubricant. We lubed the little guy up like a greased pig and started manipulating his head back through the opening.

It was not easy.

We stretched skin, pushed and pulled, added more lubricant. We tried turning his head this way and that way. I had horrible visions of his head popping off like a dandelion. Or that we would have to break his jaw or cheekbone to get him to fit. Or that we wouldn?t be able to get him out alive at all. It wasn't looking good.

Finally, we started to make some progress. Bit by bit, we pushed that little cat's head through the drain. In fact, I made the brilliant comment at this point; "Looks like we're making headway." Oh, boy. No pun intended on my part, but my tech told me later she had to bite her cheek to keep from laughing. A good healthy sense of humor (even when perverse) is important in this job.

With a squishy 'pop', the cat was suddenly free. We all gave a little cheer. Then, we bundled the little cat inside to warm him up....and clean off the lube. The DPW workers took their grate back and went on their merry way. I re-examined the little cat sans storm drain, and other than the very likely sore head and neck, he was none the worse for wear. Lucky little bugger!

Surprisingly, the cat's owner had been located during all this excitement and he had come down. They were long-time clients of ours and somehow took the whole affair in stride. We ended up keeping the cat the rest of the day to recover, but sent it home that night. His owners called us the next day to report he was completely back to normal.

It still amazes me to this day that this cat was unlucky enough to be stuck in a storm drain. Yet, he was lucky enough for someone to notice in time to get him the help he needed, and that we were able to get him unstuck in one piece! You do not see a cat stuck in a storm drain every day and I know I'll remember this case for the rest of my career. But it was a happy ending all around and worthy, I think, to be our holiday tale this year.

Happy Holidays from the Amesbury Animal Hospital!